Visit Milwaukee Blog
By Zack Zupke
Creative Services Manager
Sexy servers. Sexier clientele. The sexiest boats this side of the Mississippi. If Crockett and Tubbs motored in to the Horny Goat Hideaway via Ferrari or super-cool cigarette boat, you’d swear this was Miami Beach. All that’s missing is the flamingos.
Actually, there’s nothing missing from Milwaukee’s new vice: The Horny Goat Hideaway – Horny Goat Brewing Company’s riverside retreat on south First Street and west Becher Street. Bikers to divas, Joe Lunchpail to John Q. CEO, the Hideaway is a craft-beer oasis set on the banks of the Kinnickinnic River, attracting anyone who enjoys fun in the sun. It is THE PLACE to be seen, to see and most importantly, to get your goat on.
Recently some friends and I got our group on at the Hideaway. We claimed some prime patio real estate along the board walk, complete with massive umbrellas, tubs of icy-cold Horny Goat selections (Hopped Up `N Horny, Exposed, Horny Blonde, Vixen and Stacked – I’m sensing a theme here) and limitless funtivities like bags, volleyball and ping pong.
And that’s just the outside! Er, a corner of the outside. A one-of-a-kind outdoor bar complete with garage door walls is a must stop on your way in to the main bar and restaurant, a two-story facility with all the necessities: nine flat screens, pool, darts and an awesome party bar upstairs – perfect for bachelors, bachelorettes or Joe Beer Lovers who just want their own space.
I felt like Don Johnson as I lounged in my space – an over-sized patio chair – with my feet resting on the edge of a fire-glass fireplace. I grazed like a giddy goat when our servers arrived with fresh-made pizza, tasty wraps and vice-inducing taco dip. Mostly I just soaked up the unforgettable ambiance (along with a few pints of Belgian Style Wheat – hmm, might I suggest they call it Belgian Bombshell?) that made me feel like I was floating on cloud nine.
Towards the end of our day a friend's hubby floated up in his real-life cigarette boat and I half expected to see the pasteled partners of the aforementioned Miami P.D., but I was happy to see tats and a tank top. I knew I was still in Milwaukee. And I loved it.
“Bring me another goat,” I told our waiter Nick. “Hold the flamingos.”
Horny Goat Hideaway
2011 S. 1st Street