For the answers to the universe's deepest mysteries, visions of the future and the alignment of our fates, some look to the stars, others find their answers in the tea leaves and even more still turn to Tarot cards. We Milwaukeeans, well, we look to the almighty cheese. Your cheese drawer says more about you than you might think. Ask, and Visit Milwaukee provides.

As you prep yourself for Milwaukee’s first-ever cheese swap, and you rummage through your fridge or choose from your local cheese monger selection or rove the aisles of the grocery store for the delightful dairy staple, there are some things you should know. Here's what your cheese says about you.

Cheddar

You’re too modest to admit it, but you’re popular. You keep up with the latest shows, you’re well-versed in the music topping the charts, you’re up to date on the latest trends that you and your many friends chat about on the regular. Like one of the nation’s most chosen cheeses, you can adapt to just about any setting, whether that’s the juicy burger of a night out or the humble makeshift microwave nachos for a quiet night in. That said, you tend to play it on the safe side. You’ve got your sharp and mild sides, but let’s be honest, most of the time, you keep it to a pleasant medium.

Provolone

If you’ve got provolone cheese, you might not be as popular as the cheddar folks, but you prefer it that way. More quiet, reserved, understated and possibly more introverted (as much as a cheese can be introverted), you fly under the radar, and that’s a-okay by you. But, like provolone on a deli sandwich or a cheesesteak, when you’re missing, people notice. You’re the glue that holds society together, the person that—while sometimes basic and mild-mannered—is a sturdy and steady, a reliable character in good times and in bad.

Mozzarella

You’re a specialist. Maybe you’re the funny one of your friends, or maybe you’re the group planner, or maybe you’re just the one who always has gum. Like provolone, mozzarella doesn’t get the credit it deserves. That is, until the mozz sticks arrive at the table or the cardboard lid of a steaming-hot pizza box lifts up. Then it’s your time to shine. Oft-overlooked, you make just about any situation better. Mozzarella makes lasagna worth eating, what makes quesadillas delicious and the whole reason caprese e salad exists in the first place. Others are more bold and flavor-forward, but your personality endures, ensuring your importance in the lives of your friends and family.

Pepperjack

You’re a little spicy, loud and a little in your face. But that’s other people’s problems. It’s just a little kick, after all, and if other people can’t stand the heat, they should get out of your kitchen. You’re opinionated and, on certain occasions, maybe even overpowering. You don’t mix well with everything, but once you find your match, it’s a perfect pairing. That said, beyond your flavorful façade, you’re more flexible than you’re willing to admit…for the right audience that is. Like pepperjack, that goes as well with a southwest burger as a cheese plate, once you’re comfortable with your surroundings, you open up, becoming a loving accent to the more traditional cheese-lovers around you.

Limburger

We’re not saying you stink. You might, but that’s not really our call to make. But if you find a brick of this pungent product wrapped up somewhere in your cheese drawer, you might just be a connoisseur. There’s every chance that you have a stocked wine cupboard and know exactly what you’d pair with this aromatically complicated morsel. Your refined palate is important to you, and you may brag to your friends that you’re a foodie, with the well-plated pictures from area fine-dining establishments to prove it. You’re a little more choosy with the company you keep, and not everyone is your audience, but those who do stick to you like raw onions and rye bread.

Swiss

Like the country of origin, you remain neutral in virtually all circumstances. You pick and choose your spots to come out of your shell, but you’re by no means stuffy. Swiss comes on deli sandwiches and steaks, on grilled cheeses and the famed Monte Cristo sandwich, with white wines and light beers. But beyond your neutrality, you pride yourself on your precision and discipline, especially when it comes to time. After all, it takes nothing to be early, being on time lasts a second, and then you’re late, forever. Like a Swiss watch, you arrive precisely when you say you will, and the concept of a “running five minutes late” text is a foreign concept to you. You pick your spots, you show up when you say you will, and you expect that from other people. As an aside, you might also be holy, but that’s a different matter.

Parmesan

Just say when. You’re the kind of person who people just can’t get enough of. Even when the waiter has tennis elbow, and the manager on duty is giving you the eye, you’re the kind of person who demands that your pasta is fully dusted under a mountain of the dry-aged cheese. You have never bought a wheel of Parmesan, but you’ve definitely thought about it, and that little can in your fridge doesn’t stand a chance when you’re cooking pasta. Socially, you’re a little more withdrawn, and you’re used to turning down invites for weekend plans with your friends. That is, until you do show up. You’re not the life of the party, but you help elevate any gathering into a classic outing that everyone will talk about for years to come. Until then, you wait.

Blue Cheese

You’re not for everyone, and that’s okay. Like a blue cheese brick, it takes a certain type to appreciate you, but the ones that do are obsessed. You have your less glamorous side, sure, that’s true, but it’s part of who you are, and it’s what makes you, well, you. It’s not mold, it’s character. You’re a mainstay in sports bars, accompanied by a mountain of buffalo wings, ice-cold beers and excited chatter between fans. You make your odd appearances at fine dining establishments as a compliment to the dish du jour. You’re patient, you wait out the haters and find your people, and when you do, you thrive. Mold and all.

Kraft Singles

In the land of fresh cheese, ready to go around every corner, you’re different. You’ve opted for a path that’s all your own, and that’s your right. Maybe you’re not curd-inclined, your dairy-deficient life a source of much concern around those in your inner circle. Or it could be that you’re a budget-conscious shopper who values ease above all else. Like your Kraft Singles, you’re not about fitting in, you’re about living life on your terms, cheese aisle be damned. Who knows? You may have ever brought your own bag of spaghetti into American Family Field. We’ll give it to you, you’re a true original. Even if your individually-wrapped life isn’t the path others would take, it’s yours to walk, and we wish you well.

Cream Cheese

Above all, you see yourself as a rugged individualist or maybe even a contrarian. No matter what you call yourself, you’ve got a hipster sense of humor. The irony and semantic humor are well-placed. It is cheese, after all, just not the kind of cheese most would associate with. Your choice suggests that you’re an introvert who doesn’t take themselves too seriously, yet believes themselves to be “good in small doses” socially. You see yourself as a specialist, and there’s good and bad in that. You blend brilliantly in a cheesecake or in a sandwich heartily loaded with bagels and lox, but when it comes to the more mainstream dishes, you’re more comfortable sitting on the sidelines. That, and you always need to be prepared with some quick protein and carbs to fuel your trail runs and fixed gear commute.

Want to judge people’s dairy choices? Want to scream in my face and tell me I'm wrong? Want to get rid of that Limburger cheese that you don’t know what to do with? Swap us brick for brick at Milwaukee’s first-ever Cheese Swap! Bring a brick, walk away with a brick. Eat it on the way home if you like, or shred it and make nachos, or even keep it as a memento of the most Milwaukee event you’ve ever been a part of (not recommended). Swap cheese with us!

Swap Cheese