Moo Deng mania is here. And we’re here for it.
The perpetually damp pygmy hippo from Thailand has taken the internet by storm, stealing hearts and biting kneecaps. She’s become an icon, a legend, an agent of chaos and an unyielding influencer of the global community, bringing us all together in the spirit of silliness and joy.
So, after derailing most of a team meeting and spending more time than we probably should have daydreaming about it, we decided that—like the incomparable Moo Deng—we could not be stopped from creating this content.
Here are the ten definitive places we’d take Moo Deng when she decides to respond to our DMs and take a trip to Milwaukee.
Milwaukee County Zoo
Who doesn’t love making new friends? At the Milwaukee County Zoo, Moo Deng could meet the Milwaukee hippos, explore the spectacular new hippo habitat and generally wreak adorable havoc as she flew around the zoo.
Rodd & Makk Lightning Rod Mozzarella Sticks
Cheese curds seem like the obvious choice here, but Moo Deng is already a little nugget, and by the looks of it, she has a pretty impressive appetite. She has the need—the need for cheese. And we think she’s up for the challenge of the foot-long Lightning Rod Mozzarella Sticks at Rodd & Makk’s in 3rd Street Market Hall.
Karaoke Bar
You can just tell. Moo Deng has a song in her heart that she needs to let out. And while singing in public will get her more than a few sideways glances, a karaoke bar like The High Note is the appropriate venue to showcase her range and wow the crowd with her sensational voice. As an added bonus, The High Note also hosts a monthly comedy night if she wants to test out her standup material and set up her next act.
Bradford Beach
Hippos are semi-aquatic critters that love to splash and play, and given Moo Deng’s ever-present sheen and just-out-of-the-pool look, we have to think she’d love Bradford Beach. Just steps away from downtown, America’s most accessible beach is the perfect place for her to take a dip, grab a snack and who knows? Maybe even play some volleyball if she’s feeling it.
Spa Day
Sometimes, small agents of chaos need to be pampered, too, and Moo Deng is due for a day of deep relaxation. Keeping the global public entertained is hard work, so a day at a spa like Face Foundrie, Urbaine Oasis Spa Boutique or H2O Health Hydration Oasis is a must to maintain that dewy glow.
Best Seats in MKE
All the world’s a stage, and Moo Deng is a main character. In the Best Seats in MKE, she can kick back and take in the most captivating show on earth, real life, from one of five pairs of theater seats at unexpected locations around the Milwaukee Theater District.
Oak Leaf Trail
For a small glistening hippo, she has energy to burn for days and on the Oak Leaf Trail, she can bound around for days along the 135-mile trail, running to her heart’s content. Moo Deng is on the move!
Twisted Plants
While Moo Deng translates to “bouncy pork,” all it takes is a quick Google search to discover that—while one of the world’s most deadly mammals—hippos are herbivores. So, why not send her to pick up vegan eats so good you’d never guess they were plant-based at stops like Twisted Plants (pictured) or On the Bus at the Milwaukee Public Market?
Brewers Playoff Game
The atmosphere. The drama. The pure excitement of Brewers playoff baseball. Need we say more? This shimmering hippo looks like she could probably do with a day out at a ball game to cheer on the Brew Crew as they chase their first World Series appearance since ’82.
Shopping
They say she attempted to bite her keeper. Allegedly. But maybe Moo Deng was just really jealous of her keeper’s pants and wanted a pair of her own. Let’s take her on a shopping spree of a lifetime at malls like Bayshore or The Corners of Brookfield.
Bar Hopping
She clearly has plenty of experience with hopping, so logically, that means she’d be a great partner for some bar hopping. Our guess? She’s probably better at pool than you’d think. The only question is which Milwaukee bar to start at.
